Kick 'em while they're down

Welcome to Bears week. Recently that statement sounded as enticing as "Welcome to your prostate exam!" Due to the unproportioned asskicking that Green Bay has dished out to our furry friends from 92-04, Chicago became more of a nostalgic tradition then competitive series. In fact, most Green Bay fans would agree that the Vikings became our biggest rivals during that time. Unfortunately, the Packers front office was out taking a dump a couple years ago, while the Bears became a solid team. The Bears fans of course, took the run of luck with their normal air of arrogance and douchebaggery. The only thing I can compare it to Kevin Bacon's character in Animal House. The only thing missing is the fruity looking beanie cap he wears.

In a wonderful turn of events this year, the Bears are back where they belong.. in the cellar of our division and wrestling mediocrity with the best of them! I wonder what it smells like down there? From the whiff we got of it in '05 I'd say it reeks of Lions fans and ass. I say we keep them down there and feed them fish heads. "But Bobby, we're classy Packers fans. Don't boo the Bears, cheer on the Pack!" Of course I'll cheer on the Pack, but I have absolutely no problem kicking the Bears while their down. In fact, I hope the Pack comes out with no remorse and rips out every bit of pride, credibility, and hope in the hearts of Chicago. Yes, Green Bay is supposed to be a shining example of chivalry in the NFL. But damnit, I hate my enemy and I'm proud of it. I'm all for going out for the opening coin toss, and Brett Favre giving Brian Urlacher a Chuck Norris style roundhouse kick to the side of the head. Get Tim Harris out of retirement and have him separate someones shoulder. Clone Charles Martin and give the man a new hit list!
I've gotta admit.. I'm going to miss the Sex Cannon himself, Mr. Rex Grossman. It was like Lovie Smith didn't realize that he had a starting quarterback from the University of Florida! Everyone knows that doesn't work! In a show of solidarity, I will buy and frame a Rex Grossman jersey, and mount it on th wall next to my prized Anthony Dilweg jersey. I'll close this with a video dedicated to the every true Packers fan's favorite Chicago Bears quarterback: Rex Grossman.