Green Bay, Booze, and Broads

At least we are not Clemson fans

2010-09-09T12:38:00.001-04:00

Epic Battle: Diabetes vs. Neckbeard

2009-04-08T19:43:00.011-04:00

It was the spring of 2009, and war was beginning...

Out of the Rocky Mountains emerged a man with a curse. That curse, known as "The Beetus" by Liberty Medical, kept his face in a semi-permanent frown. After confronting his curse, a case of sandy vagina syndrome drove him to self-exile. His new coach demanded action.

From the pits of the midwest's great urban jungle resided a man. Not just any man, but a man who's neck stayed warm from the fur that inhabited it. His slovenly neckbeard was aa wild untamed wilderness, that was only surpassed by the drunken nights fueled by Phish and dirty hippy sex. Kyle Orton was that man. Websites were spawned to rebuke the Neckbeard, and the fans demanded action.

There can be only one, boy and girls... the battle is on. Here's the tale of the tape.

Neckbeard

Advantages: General numbness to physical pain, unbelievable stamina, warm protective fur

Achilles Heel: Terrible arm, Jack Daniels, Foghat, little/no talent, Che Guevara t-shirts, crunchy tunes," double-vision, patchuoli oil

Diabetes

Advantages: 'Tard rage, he's all gun sling-y, Wilford Brimley, John Elway hates him
Achilles Heel: Emo music, boar hunting, pixie sticks, poor circulation, razor blades, cupcakes

I guy can dream, can't he?

It ends like this... there can be only NONE!

Why Twitter exists

2009-04-08T09:55:00.003-04:00

From the Incredible Bulk himself, Tony Mandarich, after the NCAA final.

You can all start laughing.. wait.. wait.. wait....... ok NOW!

Marty B?

2009-04-08T09:34:00.004-04:00

This has no relevance to the Pack, but amazing relevance to laughing at the Cowboys, which in turn is always relevant (follow me?). Per ProFootballTalk, Martellus Bennett is quite the wordsmith. Instead of covering up his lack of writing talent (ala Yours Truly) with YouTube videos, "Marty B" is a big fan of terrible, terrible rapping (is there any other kind?). After profanity laced "rhymes" and an IQ in the range of 30-40, the Dallas Morning News took the logical next step: give the guy a blog! Here are some um.... highlights:

“Have you ever went on a date and the girl didn’t look as good as you remember? This really sucks! Yesterday my friend went to meet a girl at the movies he had met at the bar two nights before. We all know once you have a few drinks everything seems to look better it’s what we call the Grey Goose affect. LOL (laugh out loud).”

“Well anyways he goes to the movies to meet this woman when he gets there I recieve several text messages about how cute she isn’t and it couldn’t be the same girl. . . . Instead of leaving he orders popcorn, sour patches and two big 44oz drinks and proceeds into the movie finds them a seat and begins to sip his drink. He watches the previews and tells her that they need to go see one of the future movies in the previews if they ever go to the movie together again and smiles. Then he goes ‘man this is some strong stuff it is going straight threw me I have to go to the restroom.’ Gets up and walks all the way to his car gets in it starts it and leaves. Hahaha. Didn’t tell her bye or anything just left. Now that’s funny but is truly messed up.”

“Man what do you do if your chic farts? It doesn’t seem as if women should fart. I was walking in the grocery store in the chips and dips aisle. This lady was walking in front of me pushing her cart she stopped to pick up some pringles and let one rip. Sounded like a growl and and a motor but smelt like a dead carcus.

“I guess women have to let go at times too but it just doesn’t seem right, but if they do then it shouldn’t smell or make a sound. I mean come on if you were on a date with Angelina Jolie a lunch date eating
spaghetti and pancakes or whatever it is people eat in Hollywood and as she’s feeding you she farts. Do you let her slide because of her beauty or call her out?”

Bravo.. sir.. bravo.

Thatta boy, Aaron

2009-04-05T16:55:00.002-04:00

Via Packers Lounge, Railbird Central, and TMZ. Chick has the shortest mini skirt ever.

Quote of the day

2009-04-05T09:17:00.001-04:00

"Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein."
- Joe Theismann

Podcast virginity... broken.

2009-04-04T01:22:00.002-04:00

Well, I decided to throw my hat in auditioning to help out with the Packers Lounge podcast with Dale Z. Check it out, laugh at me, and let me know what you think.

In honor of Jay Cutler...

2009-04-02T23:04:00.002-04:00

... I give you the venerable Wilford Brimley.

Cutler adjusting to life with diabetes (May, 2008)

Twittering with the Pack

2009-04-01T10:55:00.004-04:00

I've been a little wrapped up... well.. with work the past couple days, but I thought you crazy kids out of there would get a kick out of my three newest "friends" on Twitter. They are Nick Barnett, Gilbert Brown, and.... Tony.... Mandarich. Out-friggin-standing! So far, I've learned that Nick Barnett was sick after traveling a couple days ago, Gilbert Brown is still doing his thing with appearances... eating copious amounts of grub.. etc, and Tony Mandarich has an internet solutions company. I'll admit I didn't see that one coming.

Back on the wagon?

2009-03-28T15:42:00.002-04:00

Thanks for the shout out from Alex and the gang over at Packers Lounge, but I think I would have had to actually be on the wagon to begin with to get off of it.

While most of you are enjoying your weekend...

2009-03-28T11:18:00.002-04:00

I'm at work watching this jerkoff tell me how to do my job. Can the draft please get here?

Duke Preston? No Way!

2009-03-26T22:13:00.005-04:00

A free agent signing? Really??!?

Must See!

2009-03-26T16:33:00.001-04:00

The old lady represents Ted Thompson and the Mercedes driver represents free agency. Simply outstanding and the funniest thing I've seen today.

Tony Gonzalez to the Pack.. again?

2009-03-26T10:50:00.003-04:00

I saw this nugget on ESPN this morning. Unfortunately its an "insider" article, which I fundamentally refuse to pay for. Check out the last line in the image below. The fellahs over at Cheesehead TV must be creaming their jeans over this one!

Duke Preston...

2009-03-24T22:12:00.004-04:00

That Ted Thompson is one wild and craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy guy!

I know free agent signings do not a good team make, but at least give me something sexy every once in a while. Charles Woodson was fun when we got him. But Duke Preston? A former fourth round pick that the Bills didn't attempt to re-sign and Oakland said "No thanks" to? Really? Come on... really? Ehhh..

Twitter

2009-03-24T17:17:00.006-04:00

Ok, so I'm unbelievably late to the party on this one. I blame it on my unexplained 6 months absence (which was mostly laziness). Anyway, if you want to follow my incoherent ramblings at 3 in the morning, while about to make horrible decisions, go ahead and follow me on Twitter. Probably 20% will be Packers related... sorry I'm not as disciplined as Corey and Aaron over at Cheesehead TV. While you're at it, here are some of the other Green Bay related Twitter links you may want to follow..

Greg Bedard @ JSOnline

Little Nicky

2009-03-20T10:20:00.003-04:00

I could understand being upset if you were playing for the veterans minimum, but this news of Nick Collins not showing up for offseason workouts is maddening. I call it the Javon Walker syndrome. After several years of sub-par play, a guy makes one pro bowl and thinks he's entitled to a new contract immediately. What's even more insane is that I can already hear backseat GM's complaining that this is somehow TT's fault. Well... Collins is due to make over $3 million this year so shut the hell up, learn the new defense and play! Can someone please flick Collins in the nuts?

In related news, Mike McKenzie was released by the Saints. I think I speak for the rest of Packers fandom when I say "HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Mock Draft: Version 2

2009-03-15T20:05:00.011-04:00

Check out version 1 here. I've added comments only to the picks that are different from my first go round.

1. Detroit Lions: Matt Stafford, quarterback, Georgia.

2. St. Louis Rams: Jason Smith, tackle, Baylor.

The best Smith leapfrogs Eugene Moore as the best offensive tackle in the draft.

3. Kansas City Chiefs: Aaron Curry, linebacker, Wake Forest.

4. Seattle Seahawks: Eugene Monroe, tackle, Virginia

Whoever is taking the snaps in Seattle needs more fat boys up front.

5. Cleveland Browns: Brian Orakpo, DE/LB, Texas.

In Orakpo, Eric Mangini gets what Vernon Gholston should have been.

6. Cincinnati Bengals: BJ Raji, defensive tackle, Boston College.

Stud in the middle should help out the defense immediately.

7. Oakland Raiders: Michael Crabtree, wide receiver, Texas Tech.

Al Davis creams his pants.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars: Rey Maualuga, linebacker, Southern Cal.

9. Green Bay Packers: Everette Brown, DE/LB, Florida State.

Did you see what this guy did to Wisconsin in the bowl game? Would complete a scary linebacker corp in Green Bay.

10. San Francisco 49ers: Mark Sanchez, quarterback, USC.

Can't pass up the local franchise quarterback at number ten.

11. Buffalo Bills: Aaron Maybin, DE/LB, Penn State.

I haven't seen Maybin play enough, but Buffalo needs help rushing the passer.

12. Denver Broncos: Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois.

Best corner in the draft, after Malcolm Jenkins' slow 40.

13. Washington Redskins: Andre Smith, tackle, Alabama.

Snyder adds a turd to the o-line to go with the one he signed on the d-line.

14. New Orleans Saints: Malcolm Jenkins, CB/S, Ohio State.

May have to move to safety, but this is solid value for Jenkins at this spot.

15. Houston Texans: Brian Cushing, linebacker, USC.

I'm not a big fan of Cushing (see Carpenter, Bobby).

16. San Diego Chargers: Tyson Jackson, defensive end, LSU

17. New York Jets: Jeremy Maclin, wide receiver, Missouri.

Best receiver available replaces Coles.

18. Chicago Bears: Darrius Heyward-Bey, wide receiver, Maryland

Chicago has no valid receiving threat.

19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Josh Freeman, quarterback, Kansas State

Raheem Morris was on the K-State coaching staff when Freeman was a freshman.

20. Detroit Lions (from Dallas): Michael Oher, tackle, Ole Miss.

Oher will help solidify the line behind Stafford.

21. Philadelphia Eagles: Beanie Wells, Ohio State.

If he can stay healthy, will be the best all around back McNabb has had in Philly.

22. Minnesota Vikings: Max Unger, center, Oregon.

23. New England Patriots: Larry English, DE/LB, Northern Illinois.

Vrabel is gone, and the Pats take the best hybrid rusher available.

24. Atlanta Falcons: Brandon Pettigrew, tight end, Oklahoma State.

25. Miami Dolphins: Clay Matthews, linebacker, USC.

Matthews may be the best of the USC bunch.

26. Baltimore Ravens: Eben Britton, offensive tackle, Arizona.

27. Indianapolis Colts: Duke Robinson, offensive guard, Oklahoma

28. Philadelphia Eagles (from Carolina): Clint Sintim, linebacker, Virginia.

Solid backer who no one is talking about.

29. New York Giants: Hakeem Nicks, wide receiver, North Carolina.

Even if Plax comes back, the G-men need help at receiver in a big way.

30. Tennessee Titans: Peria Jerry, defensive tackle, Ole Miss.

Someone needs to try to replace Fat Albert in the middle for Tennessee.

31. Arizona Cardinals: Knowshown Moreno, running back, Georgia.

Outstanding value for Moreno at this pick.

32. Pittsburgh Steelers: Alphonso Smith, cornerback, Wake Forest

McFadden signed with the Cardinals, and Smith is the best corner available.

OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE!

2009-03-14T09:09:00.001-04:00

Jarrett Ahmad Terrell Carroll Buckley Bush signed an offer sheet with the Titans. Rest on those laurels, Ted, rest on those fucking laurels!

Oh Bedard, You Rapscallion!

2009-03-12T11:16:00.005-04:00

I had a nice chuckle today while reading Greg Bedard's thinly veiled exasperation at Ted Thompson. Here's my favorite part:

Seeing the numbers on Burnett's contract tells me two things. 1) The Packers must have 90% of their $29 million cap room budgeted for contract extensions or some big move because Burnett's contract was really digestible. 2) Ted Thompson obviously -- stop me if you've heard this one before -- likes his guys and thinks they're good football players. Yeah, well they also went 6-10 last year and are playing in a new 3-4 scheme in which none has any experience. Burnett does. He's also 6-3 and 242 pounds. Only Brandon Chillar legitimately has that kind of 3-4 size. I think they're good players and all, but couldn't too-small players like Desmond Bishop and, to a greater extent, Danny Lansanah or Spencer Havner be axed for a more proven, experienced guy like Burnett? And when you consider the iffy proposition it is for Nick Barnett to come back fully effective this season from his ACL surgery, doesn't a move to guy like Burnett make sense? Again, Thompson must really like his guys (read: they're cheaper). But I'm starting to get worried about Thompson's love affair with Lansanah. It already cost them Tracy White, which worked out splendidly. Now you can add Burnett to that watch list.

Love affair, eh? Oh, it must be spring time in Wisconsin!

This weekend

2009-03-12T11:02:00.003-04:00

.. I'll have an updated two round mock draft. Hopefully we won't end up with this joker:

Anthony Smith signing reaction

2009-03-07T12:18:00.003-05:00

Teddy T loosened the purse strings. I've been a little hard on the guy lately, mostly out of fun, though I understand why he doesn't blow his load on the first free agent available. I have a feeling he'll add a couple more guys in the front seven before all this is over. In case any of you were wondering, here's the collective reaction in the Titletown blog universe.

Like I said

2009-03-06T18:59:00.000-05:00

Except its not Denver.

Holy Schlitz!

2009-03-04T21:22:00.000-05:00

There is a god!

The next player we won't sign..

2009-03-04T21:19:00.004-05:00

... but you can get excited about for the next week until he signs with the Broncos. The sixth round of this year's draft will sure be exciting!

Buy Brett's Truck

2009-03-02T09:26:00.006-05:00

Brett Favre is selling his truck. The bidding starts at $35 grand over on Ebay. Apparently, he'll autograph the dash if the buyer requests it. I always pictured him as having an F-100 with bullet holes in the back. Anyway, this one has a little over 8,000 miles on it, so poetic justice prevailed in that #4 changed his mind not long after buying it. Outstanding. Let the jokes begin!

Canty to Giants

2009-03-01T17:13:00.000-05:00

FUCK

Could it be.... Shipoopi?

2009-03-01T15:59:00.006-05:00

The obvious pun here would be, "Ted Thompson doesn't spend money in free agency. But why Canty." Seriously, though, I think this is an imperative move for the Pack to make. I don't care who our linebackers are if the front three can't hold off blockers.

Of course its all probably too good to be true.

I recommend keeping an eye on Greg Bedard's Twitter for updated news on this. His last post is quoted as "According to Blank, Russ Ball's call was more song and dance. No substance." Great... I couldn't help but think of this...

Twas the Night Before Free Agency...

2009-02-26T22:03:00.003-05:00

And I can't help but feel like we're gonna end up with coal in our stockings from Ted.

Fear the Vikings..

2009-02-25T10:25:00.001-05:00

Toughness just oozes out of their new quarterback. The NFC North should beware!

Matt Kenseth and Lil' Wayne

2009-02-23T17:39:00.002-05:00

First of all, I must say that I've always hated NASCAR. Left turns don't usually excite me, but big props go out to Matt Kenseth for winning the first two races of the season. Kenseth, a Wisconsin native and avid Packers fan, is mentioned today over at ESPN with Lil' Wayne. Check it..

In Which We Address The Packers Fandom of Matt Kenseth and Lil Wayne

To Kill a Mocking Draft

2009-02-22T02:43:00.010-05:00

Like the pun? Shut up, I'm rusty its the best I can do right now... anyway, have fun ripping this apart.

1. Detroit Lions: Matt Stafford, quarterback, Georgia.

What can I say... the wide receiver joke here is too obvious.

2. St. Louis Rams: Eugene Monroe, tackle, Virginia.

Orlando Pace is about finished.

3. Kansas City Chiefs: Aaron Curry, linebacker, Wake Forest.

Maybe the best player in the draft. Scott Pioli loves it.

4. Seattle Seahawks: Michael Crabtree, wide receiver, Texas Tech

Big time target for Sene... err.. Matt Hasselbeck.

5. Cleveland Browns: Malcom Jenkins, cornerback, Ohio State.

Best corner in the draft.

6. Cincinnati Bengals: Jason Smith, tackle, Baylor

In my opinion, this guy is the best tackle available. He should immediately help with Palmers post traumatic stress of being shellacked the past couple years.

7. Oakland Raiders: Jeremy Maclin, wide receiver, Missouri.

Al Davis + speed = easy choice.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars: Rey Maualuga, linebacker, Southern Cal.

Every NFL team should have at least one Samoan dude on their team. Rey will be a gnarly replacement for Mike Peterson in the middle.

9. Green Bay Packers: BJ Raji, nose tackle, Boston College.

I was 50/50 on Orakpo or Raji, and I'll probably change my mind, but right now the Pack takes the best DT available to anchor the d-line for years to come. See for yourself....

10. San Francisco 49ers: Andre Smith, tackle, Alabama.

Singletary will take a chance on the big time talent, but big time douche.

11. Buffalo Bills: Brian Orakpo, DE/LB, Texas.

Buffalo gives Schobel some help on the other side of the line.

12. Denver Broncos: Everette Brown, DE/LB, Florida State.

I dig this guy after watching him dismantle Wisconsin. An outstanding fit at a 3-4 OLB.

13. Washington Redskins: Michael Oher, tackle, Mississippi.

The 'Skins need to get younger on the O-line in the big way. Oher continues the "Hogs" tradition.

14. New Orleans Saints: Vontae Davis, cornerback, Illinois.

McKenzie isn't getting any younger and the Saints take the best corner on the board.

15. Houston Texans: Robert Ayers, defensive end, Tennessee.

This guy's stock should shoot up in the next month after a solid Senior Bowl. This d-line should be outstanding.

16. San Diego Chargers: Tyson Jackson, defensive end, LSU

Jackson will replace Olshansky, who I think would be an outstanding fit in Green Bay.

17. New York Jets: Brian Cusing, linebacker, Southern Cal.

I personally think Matthews will be the better pro, but the Jets take Bobby Carpenter Jr. here.

18. Chicago Bears: Alphonso Smith, cornerback, Vanderbilt

Nathan Vasher is declining...

19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Peria Jerry, defensive tackle, Ole Miss

Will help in the middle for the Bucs. Good value pick here..

20. Detroit Lions (from Dallas): Clay Matthews, linebacker, Southern Cal.

Had the best combine out of all the USC linebackers, and solidified himself as a first round pick. Yes USC has three first round linebackers..

21. Philadelphia Eagles: Knowshon Moreno, Georgia.

Best player available. If McNabb stays, the Eagles will be a formidable team next year.

22. Minnesota Vikings: Max Unger, center, Oregon.

Birk is about done.. and Unger is a versatile lineman who can help out in a variety of areas.

23. New England Patriots: Chris Wells, running back, Ohio State.

Maroney isn't the answer.

24. Atlanta Falcons: Brandon Pettigrew, tight end, Oklahoma State.

Matt Ryan gets the best all around tight end of the draft.

25. Miami Dolphins: James Laurinaitis, linebacker, Ohio State.

Perfect "Parcells guy." The Animal's son will step right in at linebacker.

26. Baltimore Ravens: Eben Britton, offensive tackle, Arizona.

If you have an upright pocket passer, you need to keep him upright.

27. Indianapolis Colts: Duke Robinson, offensive guard, Oklahoma

Manning gets another fat boy.

28. Philadelphia Eagles (from Carolina): Larry English, DE/OLB, Northern Illinois.

Speed rusher will fit in well with Jim Johnson's defense.

29. New York Giants: Clint Sintim, linebacker, Virginia.

The Giants need some help behind their studly d-line. Sintim is a solid three down backer.

30. Tennessee Titans: Darrius Heyward-Bey, wide receiver, Maryland.

Big and fast, Vince Yo... I mean Kerry Collins gets a weapon he badly needs.

31. Arizona Cardinals: William Moore, safety, Missouri.

I honestly have no clue here..

32. Pittsburgh Steelers: Jamon Meredith, tackle, South Carolina

The Super Bowl champs get the best available offensive lineman. Meredith had an outstanding combine and may go higher then this.

Mock Draft tomorrow

2009-02-20T13:05:00.001-05:00

In the spirit of jumping head first back into the blogosphere (that's a pretty lame name, I know), I'll have my mock draft version one up tomorrow so stay tuned suckers.

Ok I promise..

2009-02-20T12:09:00.001-05:00

I'm back this time. If there's anyone out there who's still reading that is. I've been busy with a couple of career changes and moves, but I'm back with a vengeance. Sorry if I offended anyone with the Barack Obama picture, but oh well! Anyway, here's my first link for you... apparently, Teddy T isn't interested in trading the #9 pick. Is he being coy? Is he capable of being coy? I guess we'll find out..

Packers not interested in moving back from #9

Back

2008-11-04T23:13:00.001-05:00

Still Breathing..

2008-10-12T14:35:00.001-04:00

I've been out of town constantly the past couple weeks, and there hasn't been much to pump me up about posting.

But don't fret guys/gals, I'll be back later tonight after we destroy the Seahawks (hopefully..)!

Umm..

2008-10-04T09:56:00.000-04:00

Let the Matt Flynn era begin?

Oh... shit...

Pretty Bad..

2008-09-29T22:07:00.000-04:00

.. but it could have been worse. Check this out.

Game Day

2008-09-28T12:03:00.001-04:00

A ninja explains why Pirates of the Carribean sucks

Lil Wayne and AJ Hawk's alien capsule

2008-09-25T21:22:00.003-04:00

There's some trepidation among Packer fans this week, with the health of our secondary and a tough game versus the Bucs on the books. Don't fear, cheeseheads, because here are a couple of stories that should put you at ease. First of all, let me say that I'm not a hip-hop guy. I like old school Tribe Called Quest, but if you check out my Ipod, you'll see more of The Shins then Snoop Dogg. With that said, I came across the stunning news that Lil Wayne has a (get this).. friggin sports blog on ESPN! Apparently, he's a big Packers fan.. and his first blog post is "Aaron Rodgers 'Has Been Wonderful.'"

As a Packer fan, it's been pretty good so far. Aaron Rodgers has been wonderful, man. He's handled everything, and way more than just the football part. Of course it helps the Jets aren't doing nothing.

So ummmm.. yeah.. I have no snarky comments for that or anything. I'm sort of speechless. I guess I have to like Lil Wayne now!

And for some more awesomeness, AJ Hawk is training for a mission to Mars or something, because he's been sleeping in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber. Seriously, I love this guy. I've heard of athletes doing this when recovering from injury (i.e. Terrell Owens), but it sounds like he does this all the time. My question is if his hot ass wife joins him, and if so.. how the hell does that work? Anyway, I Googled to see what this chamber looks like, and it looks like something out of a science fiction flick. Can you imagine if he stayed in there all the time, and he was brought to the game in that thing? The Bucs don't stand a chance.

Dear Lord..

2008-09-25T21:19:00.000-04:00

I have no clue what this thing is for, but please fix it. Thanks pal!

A Step Behind

2008-09-22T00:56:00.002-04:00

It's pretty late and I have to be in Atlanta tomorrow morning, but here are some of my thoughts about tonight's game.

* We have a young, talented team that will continue to get better.
* How come we suck donkey nuts in the 3rd quarter?
* Field goals in the red zone don't win games.
* Props to Mikey Mac and/or Bob Sanders for putting Chuck Woodson on Owens and shutting him down.
* Greg Jennings looks like he's 6'2", not 5'11".
* Thumbs down to whoever kept the secondary in man when Al Harris and Collins were banged up.
* Considering the difficult matchup against Witten, Brandon Chillar played well.
* The offensive line needs to play much better in passing situations.
* Cullen Jenkins is a beast.. I hope he stays healthy.
* Antonio Romo is the greatest mexican quarterback ever!
* I hope that Ryan Grant doesn't have Ahman Green fumblin' tendencies.
* How come our defense falls for the counter play every time? Stay in your gaps!
* In a losing effort, Rodgers looks good. He's Charles Bronson cool.
* Brandon Jackson seems to play better and better every game he's in.
* Man defenses are easily exposed over the middle.

So in summary, there were a lot of missed opportunities (ala last year), but the Pack is going to get much better as the season goes on. If we can play four quarters of football we should be a team to be reckoned with. Oh... also the Bears lost and we're still in 1st place in the division!

GO PACK!

How bout 'em?

2008-09-18T21:48:00.001-04:00

I Love the NFC North

2008-09-17T21:19:00.009-04:00

I hope that Green Bay Packers Universe truly appreciates the NFL North. The Motley Crew that are the quarterbacks in the division just got more interesting today, with outstanding news coming from Minnesota. And you thought "banging their heads against a wall" was just a metaphor for the way the Vikings run their pathetic excuse for an NFL franchise. The only question now is who produces more laughs: Jesus Jon Kitna, Neckbeard or Gus Frerotte?

Things I Hate/Love this week

2008-09-16T21:23:00.005-04:00

So the game went as planned... oh crap wait the Lions took the lead in the fourth quarter? And we won by how many points? 23? Wow... so anyway, way to make things sort of interesting boys. This being Cowboy's week and all, I'm going to have to step up my blogging game. There are plenty of fish to fry and jackasses to make fun of, so stay tuned. In the meantime, here are some thoughts for the week.

Things I Hate..

* The "straight from Madden 2009" Packers Man 2-Deep defense... that we run every play.
* Tony Moll's retarded mistakes.
* The refs in the Wisconsin/Fresno State game.
* Aaron Rouse's pursuit angles (see Johnson, Calvin).
* Korey Hall/Atari Bigby getting banged up.
* Al Harris's chances of manning up against T.O. without any help.
* Derrick Frost's bitch hands.
* In game announcers "That was Favre-ish. That was Favre-ish. That was Favre-ish."
* The anti-TT/MM crowd who are nowhere to be found, to accept their verbal beatings.

Things I Love..

* The Greenville Packer Backers.
* That the dear little lord baby Jesus allowed the Detroit Lions to be in our division and play us twice a year.
* Mikey Mac's casual arrogance.
* Bucky Badger.
* The ice that seems to run through Aaron Rodgers' veins.
* Blumpkin's running style.
* Reading the excuses coming out of Minnesota.
* Matt Millen.
* Charles Woodson and his mechanically enhanced Super Toe.
* Jon Kitna's amazing mediocrity.

Oh.. and in case you'd like a preview of what we're going to be dealing with on the interwebs this week. I don't really know what's going on here, but this dude is apparently a big fan of TRON!

And there's this..

OWNED

2008-09-14T21:35:00.001-04:00

Hating Your Enemy: Week 2 Lions Edition

2008-09-14T12:18:00.002-04:00

Sorry this took so long to get up.. I've had a crazy busy week.

Anyway, like I've said before, hating the Lions is kind of like beating up the special needs kid. Suffice to say, its tough for me to get super motivated and write a lengthy hate post. Trust me, I'll be back on my game for Cowgirls week. However, for continuity's sake, here's a video that should make you chuckle.

GO PACK!

The Purple Paper Tigers

2008-09-10T21:34:00.006-04:00

kar·ma - The total effect of a person's actions and conduct during the successive phases of the person's existence, regarded as determining the person's destiny.

I think that Monday's game was proof of the above definition. The Good Guys could have won by 20 points (if not for some bonehead penalties and iffy penalties), but the theme of Monday night was the end of incessant jabbering by the Prattling Purple Peckers. You'd almost think that the Queens had actually won a game against the Pack in two years, the way they were strutting around. Nothing is better then seeing a bully getting a swift kick in the junk. Cases in point...

Cause: Jared Allen - After getting PWNED by Chad Clifton last year, he couldn't keep his mouth shut about destroying Aaron Rodgers. He also wore a hideous cowboy hat while introducing the defense. Is everyone sure he's still not drinking?
Effect: Chad Clifton - Zero sacks. Zero tackles.

Cause: Pat Williams - Thought it would be smart to call out the ENTIRE PACKERS TEAM.
Effect: In the rare times Fat Pat wasn't sucking wind, Darren Colledge (yes you read that correctly) made him obsolete. I still can't believe I typed the previous sentence.

Cause: Zygi Wilf's Parents - Named their son Zygi for fuck's sake!
Effect: They have to live with the constant embarrassment that their son owns the Minnesota Vikings.

Aaron Rodgers was a beneficiary of good karma, after spending what must have seemed like an unending offseason answering difficult question with class on a consisten basis. He also rocked some sweet mutton chops. Say what you want about Brett Favre, but Rodgers is a cool cat. This was something our purple step-sisters to the west weren't anticipating. I guess that when you're used to Tarvaris Jackson, you just assume that new quarterbacks will be disasterously terribly. What's funny is that by the time the 2nd game against Minny comes around, the usual suspect will be saying the usual things, with the usual result. I'll end this post with Albert Einstein's definition of insanity.

in·san·i·ty: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Well...

2008-09-09T20:42:00.000-04:00

HA!

I'll have more later..

Hating Your Enemy: Week 1 Vikings Edition

2008-09-05T20:27:00.022-04:00

Last season, I wrote a "Hating Your Enemy" post before every game. For '08, I'm adding some love for the Pack to act as the Yin to the opponents' Yang. Click here to read last year's Vikings Hate.

Let's get down to business. Its time to rally the banners and kick the Purple Pecker Checkers in the teeth. If you have a chance, read my post about the Queens before the 34-0 de-pants-ing that ensued. I'll copy/paste some of the things I said then.... considering that when it comes to the Vikings, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Last year I mentioned that if Brooks Bollinger led Minnesota to the playoffs, the universe will collapse upon himself. Ditto for Tarvaris Jackson.

It's easy to hate the Minnesota Vikings. The team and their fans have a special place in my Douchebag Hall of Fame. Most teams' tradition and focus is on.. well... themselves. Apparently, Vikings fans hate the Packers more then they love their own team. This is why I refer to them as the Purple Pecker Checkers, considering the "envy" they portray towards our accomplishments, that borders on creepy obsession. You almost expect to see lonely Vikings fans hiding in bushes outside Lambeau Field, while blogging about how much they hate the Packers. For example, the Viking Blog "Pacifist Viking" admitted as much (and more) wh en he wrote:

Rooting for (the Vikings) has made us slightly bitter, has made us perhaps bristle all the more at Packer fans, rooting for their team with 12 championships, always able to ask "How many Super Bowls have the Vikings won?" always able to remind Viking fans of Drew Pearson's pushoff, of Gary Anderson's missed field goal, of a trophy case devoid of championship trophies. And that's why I know my feeling toward Packer fans is not fair, does not actually match my character in other facets of life....
....My reaction to Packer fans is partly consumed with my own self-loathing and feeling of inadequacy. It is not jealousy--at least, it is only jealousy to the extent that I'm jealous of all fans who have seen their favorite team win a championship. Perhaps it is resentment. Or perhaps its the strange pride that comes with a certain type of suffering.

I couldn't have said it better myself. If you need any more proof, go over to Purple Pride (yes, Purple Pride is still considered a synonym of oxymoron). And now.. here is more ammo for your own personal hate cannon.

Cheese-Free

... You know, I almost feel sorry for this guy. When he wakes up and sees his plethora of tattoos, the only sensible response has to be a feeling of extreme embarrassment. Not only is Heidi on his left arm, but his right one is "decorated" by the NFL logo and a Dallas Cowboys star?!? Syd Davey, from Canada, doesn't have a name that gives glory to his (2nd?) favorite team, but is a weak attempt to diss a rival. I like the name Horn-Blower or how about Hagar's Shame? Anyway, USA Today did this article on him, which looked way too annoying to read. So if anyone wades through that slop of journalism, feel free to email me a summarized version. I'm sure he's a hoot to hang out with. Now if only he didn't look like Barney the Dinosaur blew a load on his face, maybe I'd take him more seriously.

Anti-Cheese-Free: Mel Knoke. He may have passed on, but a better example of a Green Bay Packer fan may never be found.

"Purple Drank"

Maybe I'm not hip enough anymore, but what the hell is this crap that got Johnny Jolly in trouble? Oh... codeine.. that explains it then.

Anti-Purple Drank: Lots of Leinenkugel's. Preferrably from a Catholic church on the 4th of July (right Uncle Jeff?).

Darren Sharper

I could put up my comments from last year about Sharper(which are completely relevant), but that would be cheating. He went to William & Mary (which he is super proud of), he talks about the Packers a lot, and has "performance issues" when he's really "needed." Fortunately for Vikings fans, they haven't played in a game of any significance since he's been there. In case you didn't get my innuendo, he's big game impotent.

Anti-Sharper: Greg Jennings. #85 let's his play do the talking, which so far has been nothing short of impressive. Expect several big plays behind the Minnesota secondary, with Sharper choking on his fumes.

Brad Childress aka Creepy McCreepinstein

Remember when Chester the Molester dissed Ted Thompson's interview request by signing with the Vikings? Yeah, that's worked out real well. Actually I should love the guy for this, considering his overall coaching performance. He looks like some creepy uncle who will end up on "To Catch a Predator."

Anti-Chilly: Mikey Mac. McCarthy probably could have made an excellent living as a mafia boss. He's usually low key, but there's that air of "I'll whoop your ass" behind his statements that I absolutely love.

Ryan Longwell

OK, I give in. Here are last year's comments on Ray Finkle...er.. Ryan Longwell.
Ever popular with the media and an extremely accurate kicker while with the Pack. However, there were two extremely annoying attributes that caused Green Bay to not even attempt to sign their all-time leading scorer. First of all, he could never reach the end zone on kickoffs (leading to regular outstanding field position for the opponent) and his excuse making for every kick he missed wore thin on Packers coaches/players. Longwell seems to be more anal about the hold on the kick then any kicker I've ever seen. And I'm including the fictional character Ray Finkle from "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective." Now he can kick in a dome at least eight games a year. Good riddance.. Mason Crosby could kick his ass.

Anti-Finkle: Mason Crosby. Doesn't need much explanation. Has a strong leg, shuts his mouth, and does his job.

Pat Williams

Have you ever noticed someone that was so morbidly obese, that they would "fat breathe?" You know what I mean.... its like you can hear the fat rumbling in his every breath. Enter Patty McFatfat. He talked waaaayyyy too much trash about a team that laughed at him last year. He's basically a tub of shit who's tough to move. Did someone say chop block?!

Anti-Williams: Ryan Pickett. He's fat as well, but a nicer guy might not be found on the Packers. He's also pretty damn good.

Jared Allen

I've left this giant alcoholic, shitkicker for last. Besides robbing Aaron Rodgers' fumanchu look, Allen had a monster season last year, with 15 1/2 sacks to lead the league. Unfortunately he's an enormous prick with unneccesary comments like "hopefully, I can put my helmet square in the back of (Aaron Rodgers) spine" and "(Rodgers) may get his jaw broken." Rodgers response, you ask? "He used to have a sweet mullet.." Well played, sir.

Anti-Allen: Chad Clifton. Cliffy destroyed Allen in the matchup against the Chiefs last season. Let's hope for a repeat performance.

That ends this post, that will be the first of 19 this year detailing why I can't stand our opponent. GO PACK!

Moving on, Chewing Bubblegum, and Kicking Ass

2008-09-05T19:45:00.008-04:00

This is where we wash away the past eight months....

Ladies and gentlemen, its been a long and arduous offseason. After the NFC Championship game, the fire of a renaissance season was turned to ice by a devastating loss. A long winter descended upon Northern Wisconsin. Spring was postponed by the announcement that a certain legend would be moving on. While sad, the promise of our team's youth, led by a talented young quarterback kept hope alive in cheesehead hearts. The deep freeze of the offseason thawed when the college draft arrived, which always seems to represent a new beginning for Green Bay glory. Unfortunately, as summer began, an old hero awakened from his slumber to return. Chaos ensued. An overall sense of dread and negativity about the new season seemed to creep into many fans' minds. However, equilibrium returned (although a usually constant key element moved on), and our boys were brought together under the heavy criticism that was focused on the franchise. And so as summer turns to fall, everything is right with the world again as the Green Bay Packers take to the field once again. As the great Rowdy Roddy Piper once poetically remarked...

Greenville Packer Backers

2008-09-03T23:08:00.007-04:00

First of all.. I'll have the first Hating Your Enemy (see last year's Vikings Hate post) up by tomorrow night, just in time for game one of the 2008 season.

If you've been reading this site for the past year, you may know that I try my damndest to watch every Packers game with my hometown Greenville Packer Backers in Greenville, SC. Above is the extended O'Shea clan having a blast before last year's NFC Championship game (after pictures are thankfully not included). If you happen to be in the area, definitely come down to Dixie's Tavern to check out the smorgasborg of midwestern accents, southern drawls, and general tomfoolery. I stumbled across these crazy cats last season, and thanks to Tim & Jamie Ware (the head honchos of the G-ville Packer Backers), membership is going through the roof. Shoot them an email if you'd like to learn about joining the club ($20/year).
During the playoffs last year, Tim & Jamie opened their home (and Packer themed entertainment room) to legions of Green 'n' Gold fans for post-game festivities. Sadly, their home was recently destroyed in a fire. They were able to escape safely, though their two pets weren't so lucky. Here's what happened, in Tim's words:

House Fire Update, by Tim Ware

I would like to start out to say that Jamie, Kim and myself are all ok.

As many of you are aware, our house caught fire and was destroyed on July 8th, 2008.
It seems to have started as an electrical fire in the basement and quickly spread to the front porch and then into the attic, from there the roof went and the rest is history, REALLY!

I was the only person home at the time and got out of the house with no injuries. Our pets were not as lucky.

The house and 90% of the contents were destroyed, either by fire, water & smoke. We were able to save most of our clothes but very little else. The insurance inspector feels that the house is a total loss.

Overall of course this is a very emotional time for us, but we do have a reasonably positive attitude and are just looking forward to moving forward as soon as possible to try to rebuild our lives. Really, mentally and physically, we are doing pretty well.

A number of people have asked how they can help, what do we need? I am ashamed to say, but we were drastically under-insured for this type of situation. Our immediate needs have been met, but there are a few things we are still looking for. Please see the list and let us know if you know anyone that may want to donate these items.

We do thank you all and appreciate the caring and support you have given us. Please forward this page link to anyone that I have missed sending it too, or others you feel would be interested in knowing the details of our situation and of our well-being.
www.greenvillepackerbackers.com/Housefire

Some items needed:

Living Room Furniture Medium dark brown Coffee Table & End Tables
Bedroom Furniture (Dressers, Nightstands,)
Bookcases
Shelves
Rugs (large and small we have hardwood floors)

To contact us, call or e-mail:

Tim Ware 864-907-8040 WareVending@aol.com
Jamie Ware 864-884-9229 Raeofsun00@aol.com

This was written soon after the fire, and the Ware's have since found a new home. Through all this, the Ware's have still been going full throttle in finding a new venue to cheer for the greatest team in all the land. I can't imagine a nicer couple, and if you'd like to see what you can do to help them, check out this link on the Greenville Packer Backers website.

That's it for tonight. Sleep well, kids, gametime is right around the corner.

Myspace

2008-09-03T23:03:00.001-04:00

Hit me up

Scratching my head

2008-09-02T01:47:00.002-04:00

I should be asleep right now because a) its almost 2 am and b) I have to work at 7:45, but I suppose I owe my "readership" (LOL) a post in regards to the weekend's events. Here are my thoughts (in typical stream of consciousness fashion).

* Don't believe in global warming? Try going to Big Hart state park in Thompson, GA where you can almost walk across the lake.
* TT never fails to surprise me... though I was fairly accurate in my 53 man roster prediction.
* Why on Earth was Abdul Hodge released and Jarrett Bush made the team? I thought the best players made the final roster.
* How much do you want to bet that Hodge ends up in the NFC North?
* I'm excited for Flynn to be promoted to the backup slot behind Rodgers.
* Brett Favre sounds a lot like my ex-girlfriend (bitter and talking out of both sides of her mouth).
* Bucky looked solid.
* Clemson didn't.
* I'm going to miss Jon Ryan (but not his random 20 yard shanks).
* Good for Blumpkin!

Ok time for sleep. Seven more days Cheeseheads!!!

Update tonight

2008-09-01T17:03:00.002-04:00

After enjoying a Labor Day weekend camping, I'll have a post up sometime tonight in regards to the 53 man roster (as it stands). Enjoy the holiday.

Watch tonight's Packers-Titans game online for free

2008-08-28T17:50:00.004-04:00

So far, I've found several links that claim they will have the Packers - Titans game on at 7pm EST this evening. Most streaming sites don't work until 5 minutes before kickoff, and sometimes not until the moment of kickoff, so stay patient. I'm trying to find a way to have a live video straight from here, so stay tuned. Remember to make sure you have a Sopcast player.

Game Links:

MyP2P - Packers vs. Titans (WORKING)
Justin.tv Packers vs. Titans (NOT WORKING)

Download Sopcast Player

Will someone flick Rob Demovsky in the nuts?

2008-08-26T08:27:00.006-04:00

While checking the morning's Packer news, I stumbled upon this steaming pile on Packersnews.com by Rob Demovsky. The title is "Thompson, Finley unlikely to have impact as rookies." I don't have a problem whatsoever with a reporter calling out the Green Bay management for moves that haven't panned out (see Harrell, Justin), but these guys are 3rd and 4th round pics. Basically the story reads that both players have talent, but have work to do on fundamentals to get significant playing time. Well Rob, thats why they are MIDDLE ROUND PICK ROOKIES! Maybe we're spoiled from contributors that TT has found in the middle - late rounds (Mason Crosby, Corey Hall, James Jones, Tony Moll), but please have a little more optimism. Leave the snarky hyperbole to us, douchebag.

Good Riddance...

2008-08-25T18:03:00.005-04:00

... to Chris Francies and Deshawn Wynn. Francies couldn't catch the HIV from a prostitute in Kenya and Wynn has the toughness of a chinchilla. If you want to compare the management styles of the Packers now and that of the Mike Sherman era, you need only point to Wynn-O. Sherman would have kept Wynn-O around for 2-3 years, wasting a roster spot and never contributing. The Thompson/McCarthy team decided to take a closer look at Blumpkin and tell Deshawn "Mr. Glass" Wynn to take a hike. I assumed Wynn-O was done during this interview on Packers.com last week, when he said "If it's meant to be, its meant to be." That phrase is the most irritating ignorant piece of garbage I've ever heard. It's pretty much what lazy, unmotivated people say as an excuse why they aren't making enough of an effort. Deshawn, you were cut from the Packers not because the cosmos decided that fate would take you elsewhere, but because you are a giant wuss. Now go underachieve somewhere else, and say hello to Cletidus Hunt when you see him.

Oh, and of course Justin Harrell was sent to the PUP list which means he's unavailable for the first six weeks of the season.

Adult Swim feed

2008-08-25T02:05:00.004-04:00

For pretty much no good reason other then its completely awesome, I decided to put a live Cartoon Network - Adult Swim feed on the left toolbar. Enjoy (or hit pause.. whatever) for as long as this works! Enjoy Family Guy, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Robot Chicken, etc.

New Irrelevant 53 Man Roster Predictions

2008-08-23T20:42:00.007-04:00

*Updated after the first 5 cuts.

Ok, now that I've seen three preseason games, I wanted to tweak my roster predictions a bit. I think I was pretty close on my first try (especially the Justin Harrell being inactive thing).. but considering we will probably cut a couple guys this week <cough> Jarrett Bush <cough> Chris Francies.. <clears throat>... I wanted to give it another go.

Quarterbacks (3) - Aaron Rodgers, Brian Brohm, Matt Flynn
Same. Please stay healthy, Aaron.

Running backs (5) - Ryan Grant, Brandon Jackson, Vernand Morency, Korey Hall, John Kuhn
I've decided that Wynn-O is a giant turd who will never be consistently healthy. He's a reincarnation of Najeh Davenport, without the poop. I really want to keep Noah Herron or Kregg Lumpkin, but this isn't possible due to the offensive/defensive line issues. Hopefully we can stash Blumpkin on the practice squad.

Wide Receivers (5) - Donald Driver, Greg Jennings, James Jones, Ruvell Martin, Jordy Nelson
Same. Once again, I'd like to see Taj Smith on the practice squad.

Tight Ends (3) - Donald Lee, Jermichael Finley, Tory Humphrey
Evan Moore got hurt and it looks like Tory is getting healthy. The wild card is Joey Haynos, who has looked good, but would be a solid addition to the practice squad.

Offensive Line (9) - Chad Clifton, Allen Barbre, Scott Wells, Jason Spitz, Mark Tauscher, Darren Colledge, Josh Sitton, Breno Giacomini, Tony Moll
On second thought, due to the Sitton injury, and Moll's versatility, Tony Moll makes the team.

Defensive Line (9) - Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila, Cullen Jenkins, Ryan Pickett, Johnny Jolly, Aaron Kampman, Colin Cole, Michael Montgomery, Jason Hunter, Jeremy Thompson
Same except for Alfred Malone to the practice squad. You can pick guys up like him anytime and we need to keep 7 LB's in my opinion.

Linebackers (7) - A.J. Hawk, Nick Barnett, Brady Poppinga, Brandon Chillar, Abdul Hodge, Desmond Bishop, Tracy White
This may sound crazy, but I almost want to dump Brandon Chillar. He hasn't done enough to warrant the money we're paying him, and unless we trade Desmond Bishop/Abdul Hodge I don't see any way we release either of them. I think we keep Chillar, but this is something to keep an eye on.

Cornerbacks (5) - Al Harris, Charles Woodson, Tramon Williams, Will Blackmon, Pat Lee
Same. It would be nice for Joe Porter to make the practice squad.

Safeties (4) - Atari Bigby, Nick Collins, Aaron Rouse, Charlie Peprah
Same.

Special Teams (3) - Mason Crosby, Jon Ryan, J.J. Jansen
Same.

Post game thoughts

2008-08-23T19:35:00.003-04:00

Aaron Rodgers continued his facial hair progression with a terrific Fu (oh yeah, and he had at outstanding game).

We need AJ Hawk, Ryan Pickett, and Ryan Grant.

Nick Barnett was surprisingly horrendous.

Tory Humphrey might actually make this team.

Is it possible to keep Desmond Bishop and Abdul Hodge?

Only one obvious dropped pass (James Jones this time), which is an improvement.

Brohm or Flynn need to make some plays next week, or we might have to see what Blair Kiel is up to these days. Maybe they should grow beards.

Pre-game random video

2008-08-22T19:00:00.001-04:00

I laughed. Hard.

Packers - Broncos streaming video

2008-08-22T17:11:00.006-04:00

I'm working on finding out where you can watch tonight's preseason game online for free. Supposedly, this link at Justin.tv will work (right now it doesn't, but it should closer to gametime). Make sure you download a Sopcast player.

UPDATE: The Justin.tv link works now... happy watching.

The Many Faces, Mustaches, and Beards of Aaron Rodgers

2008-08-21T02:51:00.027-04:00

A lot of folks have been worried lately about a certain quarterback wearing #12 for the Pack. There are seemingly hundreds of articles breaking down everything from his mechanics, body language, timing, arm strength... blah blah blah. I'm not going to talk about that today (or this morning.. I'm up way too late). Today I'm going to break down a sometimes overlooked part of the Rodgers persona... his ever so important facial hair progression.
In April 2005, Green Bay drafted the young quarterback out of California late in the first round. Some NFL insiders thought that Aaron came off as a little too cocky, as a stud quarterback on the left coast would be presumed to be (see Leinart, Matt). I was intrigued by his quick release and outstanding completion percentage, but was a little dismayed about the pretty boy look that Mr. Rodgers was pushing. You see.. nothing good can come from a guy with a soul patch, except mocha lattes and weed brownies. Especially with a certain incumbent legend's scruff that could clean a rusty grill.
Fast forward a bit, and Favre's grit seemed to rub off as Rodgers was spotted in the preseason rocking a stunning mustache. When asked to explain, Aaron deadpanned that the exquisite lip fur was "a tribute to all the great people in history that had mustaches -- guys like Tom Selleck and Chuck Norris and Jesus and Ron Burgundy." After intense research, I found that he was going for the "Cop 'stache" which can be found on every policeman... umm.. everywhere. It was at this point I realized that A-Rod may just be a cool cat.
Last season, Rodgers pulled out all the stops. Arriving at training camp with a full beard, he cut it down to a sweet Fu Manchu that was stunningly similar to another famous quarterback who wore #12. Several weeks later, the traditional cop stache was back in action, with a hippy homage to Jake Plummer. The world was introduced to Aaron with this look on NFL Network, as he took over for an injured Brett Favre and performed admirably well under the lights in Texas Stadium.
During the offseason, after #4 retired, we were introduced to a clean shaven "Jesus looking" Aaron Rodgers. After much prodding from his mother (mostly due to a wedding he attended), he cut everything off for minicamp which I hope to never witness again. In my opinion, his toughness went down like 50 points. Fortunately for fans of beards everywhere, Aaron returned to training camp in full Grizzly Adams style, until this week when he unveiled my favorite look yet. When asked to described his new look, R odgers explained "(its) a tribute to the Civil War generals from the mid-to-late 19th century." But it was apparently inspired by a Russian czar. "I was watching ping-pong on MSNBC in the Olympics, and they showed this ad for this TV show which was going to be about Abe Lincoln and Czar Nicholas, who was the last czar of Russia," Rodgers said. "So anyway, Czar Nicholas had this look. So I was laying in bed, I go, 'That's a sweet look.' So I got up, about 10:30 at night, I shaved my chin and said, 'Hey, if the czar can do it, I can do it."
Rodgers went on to explain that the Czar look had an official name. "Matt the trainer and I looked it up on Beards.org, and discovered that it had a name: The 'friendly mutton chops.'"

Bravo, sir... bravo...

Sloppy Seconds

2008-08-17T16:11:00.007-04:00

Well that was embarrassing! First of all, hats off to the 49ers, they actually.. you know.. showed up last night for the 14 fans that arrived for the game. As you've probably heard by now, the Pack was PWNED by the 49ers. If you happened to crouch over the dim glow of your computer and watch the epic failure that was last night's preseason game, you know what I'm talking about. The saving grace for me was that I muted the streaming video (with local 49ers announcers) and listened to Wayne and Larry. Larry's groans of displeasure were hilarious enough to make the game almost not suicide inducing for me.
I for one don't take a whole lot of stock in preseason games, but look for individual performances. However, when the entire team plays the sloppy and uninspired brand of football (to a man) that was displayed in the Bay area last night, I can't help but be disgusted. This team is too well coached to come out this week with a similar performance, but I have to call this one like I see it. The most disappointing part of last night's debacle is that Aaron Rodgers is going get a lot of heat for the team's performance (especially in light of a certain Jets quarterback playing well)... but this is unfair. I don't care if Brett was back there ... when the o-line gets destroyed like ours did, sacks happen. Frequently. So besides Jordy Nelson (nice job on those kick returns by the way, buddy) and Mason Crosby... here are the folks who contributed to the sloppiest second preseason game I've ever witnessed.

Jason Spitz - Dude was pancaked several times by the 49ers defensive tackles on a straight bull rush. I like Spitz, but this should never, ever, ever happen.

Jarrett Bush - If he makes the team, I'm going to lose it. He might as well change his name to Ahmad Terrell Buckley Carroll considering how many times he gives up big plays. And the other team knows it, too. You seem like a nice guy, but you suck big time, Jarrett.

Donald Lee - I know its one dropped ball, but Rodgers needed that touchdown so that all the idiots who will judge his performance without actually watching the game can settle down. There have been WAY too many dropped balls so far this preseason.

Brian Brohm - Seems scared out there. Give the kid a Xanax or something.

Punt Coverage team - I've always like Allen Rossum, and was livid when we got rid of him, but that was an awful attempt by this special teams unit.

That's it for now. As I said earlier, I'm confident that Mikey Mac will straighten our boys out in time for this week.

Watch tonights games online for free

2008-08-16T18:57:00.002-04:00

For those that don't have NFL Network, or are out of the state of Wisconsin, go to http://www.stoogetv.com/player.html to watch the Jets, Packers, etc. games tonight for FREE. You probably have to download the Sopcast and TVU plugins (10 MB total and easy to load on your computer).

I'll have comments later... GO PACK!

I dunno...

2008-08-14T22:41:00.002-04:00

High School Football Drama!

2008-08-13T03:17:00.007-04:00

Holy crap, a football organization actually cracked down on non-contact practices with contact in them! But not the NFL... the Greenville County School District in South Carolina! This is the story about two high school teams in my hometown of Greenville, SC. Here's what went down....
Jim Sosebee, head football coach for the Greenville High Red Raiders, pretty much snitched on the Greer High Yellow Jackets (a well known, usually successfull team in the area), by asking the league executive committee (by the way, who the hell is on that?!) to clarify a rule about contact in the opening summer practices. The rule apparently states that there can't be full contact drills the first three days of practice. After looking into this, the league found that there were indeed practices with too much contact, and the Yellow Jackets were deemed ineligable for all preseason and postseason games this year. Yes, there are preseason high school football games in South Carolina. Coachy Snitchy goes on to say that "We just called to check on a rule." Yeah dude, and Eric Mangini just wanted to clarify how illegal it was that New England had a camera pointed in the wrong direction.
After an appeal by Greer lawyers, the case was overturned 10-2 and head coach Will Young can lead his Greer Yellow Jackets into the season. On Friday, September 19th, Greer travels across town to play Greenville and coach Snitchy McSnitcherson. Should be fun to watch, both teams sure do have a familiar logo.

Irrelevant 53 man roster prediction

2008-08-13T01:09:00.001-04:00

So as the dust settled from the promising first preseason game, its becoming easier to see who's going to make the final 53 man roster. Look for Chris Francies, Tyrone Culver, Corey White, Scorpio Babers, Joey Haynos, and Tony Moll to be among the first guys released.
So here it is. The 2008 Green Bay Packers roster. Let me know what a dumbass I am in the comments!

Quarterbacks (3) - Aaron Rodgers, Brian Brohm, Matt Flynn
Pretty obvious here. Unless Brohm and Flynn are horrendous in the next couple preseason games, this is what we'll enter the season with.

Running backs (6) - Ryan Grant, Brandon Jackson, Vernand Morency, Deshawn Wynn, Korey Hall, John Kuhn
Morency gets the nod due to his outstanding pass blocking. Hall and Kuhn will again man the FB position. The final spot will come down to Wynn-O or Blumpkin... I'm hoping its Blumpkin so that I can type that all season, but Wynn-O will probably have a 100 yard game in the final one of the preseason and continue to tease us.

Wide Receivers (5) - Donald Driver, Greg Jennings, James Jones, Ruvell Martin, Jordy Nelson
Pretty easy to call. Brett Swain hasn't been effective enough to make the team. Why did we even draft him? I'd like to see Taj Smith on the practice squad, but he'll probably be picked up, off waivers by another receiver starved team (see Bears, Vikings).

Tight Ends (3) - Donald Lee, Jermichael Finley, Evan Moore
This was a tough call, but Tory Humphrey just hasn't been healthy/dynamic enough to make the roster. Evan Moore has exceeded expectations so far.

Offensive Line (8) - Chad Clifton, Allen Barbre, Scott Wells, Jason Spitz, Mark Tauscher, Darren Colledge, Josh Sitton, Breno Giacomini
Another difficult position to address. Junius Coston hasn't played well as a back-up center and shouldn't make the team. Sitton is the surprise of the offseason. Breno Giacomini is 50/50 at this point, but has too much potential to be cut. Tony Moll and Orrin Thompson (sorry Jeremy) are out. Ryan Considine to the practice squad?

Defensive Line (10) - Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila, Cullen Jenkins, Ryan Pickett, Johnny Jolly, Aaron Kampman, Colin Cole, Alfred Malone, Michael Montgomery, Jason Hunter, Jeremy Thompson
Until Justin Harrell gets healthy (which doesn't look like it will happen any time soon), Alfred Malone has a spot on the team. I wanted to put Daniel Muir on the roster until Harrell gets back, but Alfred Malone looks to be the better player at this point. Jason Hunter makes the team due to his exceptional special teams play. Look for Montgomery to play surprisingly well.

Linebackers (6) - A.J. Hawk, Nick Barnett, Brady Poppinga, Brandon Chillar, Abdul Hodge, Tracy White
Studs. That 2-4 scheme we ran during the Bengals preseason game was pretty cool. There will be a couple good players who won't make the team in Desmond Bishop and Danny Lansanah. However, Abdul Hodge has looked outstanding and Tracy White is the best special teams player on the team.

Cornerbacks (5) - Al Harris, Charles Woodson, Tramon Williams, Will Blackmon, Pat Lee
Fairly easy going here, except that Jarrett Bush doesn't make the team. Joe Porter has a shot on the practice squad. Despite what you've read/seen on TV, this is a deep, talented secondary.

Safeties (4) - Atari Bigby, Nick Collins, Aaron Rouse, Charlie Peprah
Man this is shaping up to be a stout roster. Peprah makes the team as a solid fourth safety. Goodbye Tyrone Culver.

Special Teams (3) - Mason Crosby, Jon Ryan, J.J. Jansen
No doubt. Now if only Jon Ryan quits kicking 16 yard punts we'll be solid!

Pre-season Week 1... Manly indeed

2008-08-12T19:12:00.003-04:00

Fun game last night. Every site has its own way of grading players in a game (thumbs up, down, etc.).. I'm not that fancy, so here are some of the observations that I had while downing Miller Lites in a seedy bar.

Cut Chris Francies NOW! Dude had how many drops? And seriously, why was he in the game so early?

How can you not root for Aaron Rodgers? Whoever wondered if he can make all the throws should feel a lot better. His arm strength, plus poise in the pocket impressed the hell out of me.

Brohm and Flynn will be fine. When they settle down.

James Jones is a badass. Check out the video. Nuff said!

So is Donald Driver. Did you see the shoulder he layed into Marvin White? According to Driver, the Bengals safety had been talking a large amount of trash after Double-D dropped a pass. I don't think he was saying very much afterwards.

Abdul Hodge has the makings of a beast. As long as his knees stay connected to his legs, he's definitely making this team. I assumed Hodge was an afterthought, but Desmond Bishop may be looking for a job soon.

Brandon Jackson looks a lot stronger. Other then not picking up the blitz that resulted in a sack the second play of the game, Jackson looks ten times better then last season. He's constantly moving his legs, and should be a strong #2 back for us this year.

Wynno-O vs. Blumpkin. Until Deshawn Wynn or Kregg Lumpkin show they can be fairly consistent, these are my names for them. Blumpkin looks like a solid 3-4 yards every time kind of guy (which is what we need in a #3 back), until he fumbled at the end of the game. On the other hand, Wynno-O is either related to Mr. Glass from Unbreakable or a giant pussy. I'm going with option number two until he can stay on the field longer then two quarters without some phantom injury.

The secondary looked handi-capable. Considering Harris/Woodson were given the night off, our corners looked outstanding in not allowing a first down the first three drives. The rush defense on the fourth possession, however, was slightly alarming without Pickett/Jolly in the middle.

Wayne and Larry were back in top form. I get chills listening to Larrivee, followed by obligatory "Yeeeesssss!!!" from McCarren. Here's a vid of the calls from both teams' announcers.

Kudos to the real fans of Green Bay... for cheering on Rodgers and the rest of the team. You can tell it meant a lot to him.

Finally...

2008-08-11T19:22:00.003-04:00

Its game time. Pre-season, yes, but still game time. No "Hating Your Enemy" until the regular season, and to be honest, the biggest enemy of the Pack right now are the idiotic fans who do things like this. It looks like several players will be out with injuries, but none look too serious. Here are a couple things to watch for...

1) If you're like me and want to donkey punch Tony Kornheiser in the back of the head, make sure you tune into Wayne and Larry for an intelligent radio broadcast with the TV on mute. You usually have to go on NFL.com and buy a "Fieldpass" for this, but you can usually find some free radio broadcasts out there, like WTMJ.

2) QB play. This one's obvious, but it would be nice to see the wide receivers make catches, as opposed to the seven drops in the scrimmage that made Rodgers look sub-par. Besides the obvious (Rodgers), I'm excited to watch Brohm and Flynn make a run at the #2 spot.

3) O-Line. RG Josh Sitton has to be the surprise of the 2008 draft so far. He was pegged as one of the biggest reaches of the draft by Scott Wright at NFL Draft Countdown (on a side note, this is the same Scott Wright who thought that James Jones was one of the biggest reaches last year). It looks like Spitz will start at center (Wells is injured), and it will be interesting to see who performs better at LG (Colledge or Barbre). My money is on a starting line of Clifton, Spitz, Wells, Sitton, and Tauscher.

4) D-Line pressure. We surely won't unleash the blitzes that Bob Sanders has planned for this year, but something that I'm concerned about is pressure from the front four. This was a weakness as the season progressed last year, and came to a head in the NFC Championship game. I have high hopes for Michael Montgomery and Jeremy Thompson, who looks like a young Jason Taylor in pads.

5) The fans. Act like true Packers fans and have some class please. Booing the team doesn't accomplish anything.

Thats it for now, I'll post something later and my predictions for the final 53 man roster.

The Motley Crew that is ESPN

2008-08-07T21:16:00.009-04:00

I'm going to try my best to move on from the Brett Favre situation (by the way, I agree with the guys over at Cheesehead TV... as happy I was last night for this mess to be over with, it made me sick seeing him hold up that Jets jersey).

Anyway, if you've had the misfortune of watching tonight's game on ESPN, I pity you. ESPN (which hasn't earned many brownie points with me lately) has assembled the largest group of nitwits ever to talk about football. All I have to say is that the pregame show consisted of Keyshawn Johnson, Cris Carter, Tom Jackson, and Emmitt Smith. Seriously. I've always liked Tom, but hoooooly shit this group was absolutely painful to watch. When I found myself agreeing with Emmitt Smith more than anyone (who seems to have raised his English language skills to that of a seven year old), I almost took a bath with a plugged in toaster. Keyshawn and Cris Carter are more interested in talking over each other and then laughing at their own awful observations, which is eye-gougingly irritating to say the least. Is this just a continuation of the dumbing down of our culture for the sake of entertainment, or is this just the best that Bristol can do?

So if you were able to get past the amazing insight provided by the Monday Night Countdown team (by the way, it's friggin Thursday!!!) you've been treated to one of the worst human beings on the planet....Tony Kornheiser. Kornheiser (or Kornholer as Mike Florio likes to call him) is simply the most irritating, unfunny, shitbag who actually gets paid to make horrible horrible jokes on national TV. Tonight, he's thrown out zingers like "this just in.. Brett Favre has been traded to the Knicks because the Jets don't seem like they want him anymore," and I swear he laughed at his own joke for a good ten seconds. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And what's even worse is when Jaws laughs with him! I'd rather listen to John Madden babble on about whatever the hell he babbles on about. Dare I say that I miss Joe Theismann? I'm pretty sure Kornholer sold his soul to the devil to be on TV, but he has to go through life looking life Gollum from Lord of the Rings with an even worse comb-over. Ehhh.. can the season get started already so I can listen to Wayne Larrivee and Lary McCarren?

Putting things into perspective

2008-08-07T14:28:00.001-04:00

Probably the best article I've seen, on ESPN (surprisingly) by Jeff Chadiha. Thanks Mom!

Favre's gone for good, but Packers fans shouldn't panic

Brett Favre to the Jets: Done Deal

2008-08-07T00:05:00.006-04:00

Bretty and the Jets, according to FOX Sports. I've gotta say, Jay Glazer has been all over this story.

UPDATE: According to Adam Schefter, the deal is for a conditional 4th round pick.
If Brett plays in 50% of offensive snaps, it becomes a 3rd round pick.
If Brett plays in 70% of offensive snaps AND the Jets make the playoffs, it becomes a 2nd round pick.
If Brett plays 80% of offensive snaps AND the Jets make the Super Bowl, it becomes a 1st round pick.

UPDATE #2: Here's the ugliness of Brett's new jersey.

Brazilian Broads are also Green and Gold

2008-08-06T20:52:00.007-04:00

I've been harassed for not including enough of the "Broads" element that's been promised. I came across these stunning girls today will trying to get my mind off of the Civil War (besides work, of course).

Allow me to introduce you to Bia and Branca Feres of the Brazilian Olympic team. B&B are twenty years old, synchronized swimmers, stunning and apparently not all that bright. This is an outstanding combination (plus the fact that Brazil's national colors or green and yellow), and has been accentuated by a recent magazine spread and Myspace page. In case you wanted to know their interests, its pretty much limited to synchronized swimming, spooning each other, and writing things like this (from said Myspace page):

Heyyyy Guysssssss!! We are Bia and Branca from Rio de Janeiro, Brasil!! Soooooo...What should we say about usssssssssssss?? We are synchonized swimmers, we swims for the brazilian national team!!!! Thing´s that we can´t live without: *Each-other (we are best friends) *Good weather, with a lot of sun (It´s always good be tan) *Our Family and friends *Beaches (brazilian surfers are hot)lol! *Parties (nice musics to dance) *White Chocolat *Synchro Ohhhhhhhhhhh that´s enought..... If you want to know more... just ask ussssss....

If the synchronized swimming thing doesn't work out, their writing skills seem to be about on par with mine, so they can always op-ed on GB3. On a side note, synchronized swimming has to be one of the most asinine activities to be included in the Olympics. Isn't it pretty much like ballet in the water without the obligatory crotch shots? I dunno, maybe I'm crazy. Anyway here are the promised broads, enjoy you lonely, horny schmucks!

The Civil War for Cheesehead Hearts

2008-08-06T05:55:00.007-04:00

And the battle that pitted brother against brother raged on...

Until the leader of this great franchise took a stand for what was right.

President Mark Murphy: A house divided against itself cannot stand. I believe this franchise cannot endure permanently, with half of the fans pro-Favre and the other half anti-Favre. In trading Brett, we assure freedom to those still on the team - honorable alike in what we give and what we preserve. We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, the last, best franchise of earth.

Favre says he'll play for the Buccaneers

2008-08-06T00:24:00.002-04:00

Looks like the beginning of the end... "I'll play for Buccaneers," Favre says.

A New Day and Stuff To Make You Laugh

2008-08-05T22:26:00.002-04:00

First of all, I finally updated the layout of the site, which was much needed. While redesigning it, I decided to take #4 off of the banner in light of today's events. From the rumblings around the interwebs and McCarthy's press conference today (by the way, I respect the hell out of Mike McCarthy. He's been through a lot and is a tough S.O.B.), it looks like Brett will don the Green n' Gold no more. I've been receiving a lot of emails asking how I feel about this whole clusterschmuck, and I'm honestly at a loss. I don't blame Brett or TT for this whole mess, and my allegiance lies with the Green Bay Packers. With that said, I was 10 years old when Brett took his first snap for the Pack so there's a ton of uncertainty with Rodgers taking over. Wherever this road takes us/Brett, I will be cheering my ass off against him if Brett plays on an opposing team.

Ok enough sentimentality for now.. here are a couple of funny things I found across the tubes today.

DJ Gallo from ESPN Page 2 spins the tale of the Gunfight at the G.B. Corral.

Kissing Suzy Kolber (even though they can't stand the Packers) with one of the funniest Rex Grossman fake stories I've ever read.

Found this video on Deadspin. Two warnings, Hitler is in it (so hopefully you aren't easily offended) and the subtitles disappear too quickly. I still laughed my ass off.

Ehhh..

2008-08-05T13:23:00.001-04:00

Nevermind.

Favre says of situation: "This probably isn't going to work." - ESPN

McCarthy Conference Delayed

2008-08-04T21:49:00.003-04:00

As I'm sitting here drinking Miller Lites and waiting for Mikey Mac's statement that Muhammed is indeed returning to Mecca, some schmuck came out (Jeff Blumb???) and said that Brett and Mike are still meeting. Apparently two and a half hours aren't enough, and I'm friggin' irritated. Supposedly, a decision on Brett's future will be announced tomorrow. Stay tuned.

And on the third day...

2008-08-04T17:24:00.002-04:00

... he returned.

Now hopefully we'll keep him around.

Why forums are annoying

2008-08-03T02:33:00.013-04:00

I used to post quite a bit in different Packers forums. Living in South Carolina, it was a rare opportunity to talk Packers football with other fans who actually knew what they were talking (typing?) about. Somewhere along the way, forums began to annoy the piss out of me. Here are a couple examples of the shitheads who ruin the fun.

The Rumor Guy: This person makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a spoon. There's always some self-proclaimed "insider" who apparently has a direct line to the GM's office, but in the end is wrong 99% of the time. You can usually spot said douchebag around free agency/draft time when they let everyone with a computer know the "secret" information about who the Packers are really interested in. These people are extremely attention starved and jack off to themselves. Alot. On a personal note, I was once suspended from a Packers forum for saying that a user's posts were the equivalent of "verbal diarrhea." Scroll down and see "Over-Zealous Moderators."

Internet Tough Guys: Pretty simple... when some snitz emails me and tells me where to shove it, I simply chuckle and move on. When a Vikings fan goes on a Green Bay forum (or vice versa), all hell ensues. This person is usually identified horrific spelling, heavy use of slang, and 1's instead of exclamation points. He usually talks like a WWE wrestler, but looks more like the guy above. The only thing more irritating then the Internet Tough Guy is the...

Pudsmack Who Gets His e-Feelings Hurt: For the love of all that is holy, don't whine when someone tells you to shut up online. Seriously, get your panties out of a wad and go cry, emo kid.

Over-Zealous Moderators: You know those nerds who ended up as cops on a power trip? These self-righteous assholes are worse. When some poster says something ignorant, half the fun is to ridicule said person and crush him. Then Mr. Moderator comes flying in on his high horse, and get this... you get in trouble, which you probably thought stopped when you turned 18. Ironically, these guys would love to be vice principals and dole out punishment, but they are way too big of pussies to act tough IRL. I understand if you want to keep things "family friendly," but the point of a forum is free speech, not just the speech that you want. Purplepride.org is notorious for this. Hopefully I won't piss the guys over at Packer Chatters too much, but here's an awesome example of one of their moderators bitching and moaning like a seven year old girl (link to original post: http://www.packerchatters.com/4ums/index.php?showtopic=11383&pid=182741&st=0&#entry182741). Click on the image to zoom in if its too small.

Will someone please flick marklawrence in the nuts? Get over yourself. Here's a website dedicated to calling out these assholes: http://dontcensorme.com/

Alright, that's enough bitching from me, but if you have a funny/annoying forum experience, please share and everyone (by everyone I mean the 20 users who read this blog, 10 of which are family members) will laugh.

Grant deal done

2008-08-02T20:06:00.003-04:00

According to Jay Glazer at FOXsports.com, the Packers have reached a deal with Ryan Grant. I wonder if he'll be on the sidelines for the Family Night scrimmage.

Outstanding, Mr. Rodgers

2008-08-01T16:20:00.003-04:00

No one knows yet how Aaron Rodgers will perform under the ridiculous expectations that are bound to be thrust upon him from opening day, but he sure knows how to handle himself. If you have any question about his state of mind, you only need to watch the following interview from the locker room at Packers.com: http://www.packers.com/multimedia/videos/2008_training_camp/video_20080801__8720a2475b03__7276627ec3c0/
I am nothing short of impressed..

Two Wild and Crazy Guys!

2008-07-31T02:16:00.004-04:00

Ted Festrunk: Oh, Mike my brother, there will certainly be a lot of swinging at Lambeau tonight.

Mike Festrunk: Of course! After all, there is no other pair of brothers who cruise and swing so successfully in tight slacks with bulges!

Ted Festrunk: Ah, that press conference was really something. It was no difficulty to see many swinging Green Bay fans enjoying each other a great deal. They will forget this Fav-ruh soul brother in no time!

Mike Festrunk: Why not? There's nothing preventing them. They will love this Comrade Rodgers, that big sex machine!

Ted Festrunk: He will be boss! Usually, in Minnesota, Chicago, and Detroit, only high party officials of the Communist Party can get unproven quarterbacks to start!

Mike Festrunk: And it only cost $20 million to get rid of our "problem."

Together: Hahahahahaha! We are.. two wild and crazy guys!

Brett shows up to camp

2008-07-30T15:40:00.003-04:00

Thanks to the guys over at RotoHog. Lloyd Dobler would be proud!

Aaron Rodgers is expecting?

2008-07-30T00:09:00.004-04:00

Peter King gave a real zinger on ESPN today, as he stated "The Packers think Aaron Rodgers is 9 1/2 months pregnant. He's ready (to play)."

Who's the daddy?

Moving on.. Packers all over TV

2008-07-29T01:50:00.004-04:00

I caught these commercials over the weekend and tracked them down on Youtube. The first is a possibly, definitely, but maybe not fake ad of Mason Crosby. Check it!

This next video has three commercials, with Ryan Grant first and Greg Jennings last. Pretty funny stuff.

Fuck you ESPN! Worldwide Leader of Sports, my ass!

2008-07-28T17:47:00.005-04:00

Put the kids to bed, because this is going to be errrr.. scathing, to say the least.

I've reserved flipping out about the arrogant Titletown, USA debacle that ESPN has put together, mostly due to the fact that I thought Green Bay would emerge the winner anyway. Well, guess what folks? The winner is.....

VALDOSTA, "sister fucking" GEORGIA!!

Yup, after months of pandering and pontificating, this is the fucking mockery ESPN has made out of the cherished name that is even located on the City of Green Bay seal. And guess why? Because of a high school! A high school! Besides Busch Light, Marlboro Reds, Kodiak chewing tobacco, and a creepy amount of similar last names in Valdosta, they can pin up the ESPN Titletown moniker! Holy scooter driving Christ on a pogo stick are you serious?!? Even when I write the word "Valdosta," the spell check is alerted. Do you know why? Because no one has heard of the god damned place! John Anderson (Sportscenter anchor and native of Green Bay) should demand that the "Worldwide Leader in Sports" title be put up for grabs. The way things are going now, Kige Ramsey (see video below) has a strong chance at winning this shit!

I'm off to watch the Carolina Panthers training camp now. Will someone please email me a link where I can buy Green Bay Titletown shirts?

Fuck you Bristol!

And it begins.. Day One

2008-07-28T16:14:00.005-04:00

Training camp 2008 is in full swing, and so are we. I'll do my best to speak about "he who shall be named" as little as possible today unless a trade is completed (or imminent).
First off, let me say that I love training camp. Its an exercise in fanaticism to get amped about who the long snapper and starting left guard will be (J.J. Jansen and Allen Babre, respectively.. in my humble opinion of course), and obsessively watching the locker room interviews on Packers.com. Today, my favorite interview has to go to Donald Driver. When asked if it would be strange to see a certain retired Packer in another uniform, he said, "I don't know, but it will be ugly. Darren Sharper and Ryan Longwell.. those guys look UGLY in their new uniforms." Its towards the end of the seven minute interview, which can be seen here:
http://www.packers.com/multimedia/videos/2008_training_camp/video_2008072
8__f1b0da1ec601__49b7147cc140/
Mike McCarthy stated that today was a sharp practice. The biggest concern has to be Justin Harrell's continued absence, and (due to a setback last week) possible second surgery on his back. It's a shame that the guy can't get on the field. Maybe me brother was right, and we shouldn't have traded Corey Williams.
For more inside info I recommend Jsonline's Packer blog and (as always) Railbird Central for updated training camp info. I'll be sitting in the background throwing spitballs at the teacher.

GO PACK!

Jet-setter?

2008-07-25T14:25:00.002-04:00

Ok.. now that I've had time to let the latest Favre news sink it, its obvious that a trade IS about to happen. Kudos to the boys over at CheeseheadTV for calling it.

So who's it gonna be? The Bucs, Jets....?

Favre showing up for camp?!?

2008-07-25T11:34:00.001-04:00

According to PFT.... alright I admit I'm completely friggin confused!

http://www.profootballtalk.com/2008/07/25/favre-will-show-up-for-camp/

Eerily silent...

2008-07-24T18:38:00.003-04:00

Lost in the shuffle of today's stockholder's meeting and Mr. Favre's cell phone habits, is the fact that #4 has been..... get this.... silent. No wayward comments from his mother, brother, agent, limo driver, proctologist. None. Zip. Nada. This leads me to believe that Brett will be traded soon. All signs point to Tampa Bay, and if its for a first round pick (Thompson shouldn't accept anything less in my opinion) I can definitely live with that.
Now if the Purple Packer Pecker checkers (so aptly named for trying to take every single friggin' one of our players) are found guilty of tampering, will Goodell make them give us a draft pick? Dare I say a first rounder?!? If this happens, fast forward to April, 2009 where you can be assured that TT will trade all 3 #1 picks to secure the entire 6th round.

Oh and keep voting for the city of Green Bay as the true titleholder of err... Titletown. Click here and vote early and often: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/titletown/index

Vote, Cheeseheads!

2008-07-23T16:22:00.002-04:00

Alright, the voting for for Titletown, USA starts today at 5pm on ESPN.com. I'll write something later about how this pisses me off that its even being put to a vote, but it is what it is.. I guess.

Here's the link: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/titletown/index

Of course...

2008-07-16T19:54:00.004-04:00

The Packers have filed tampering charges against the Vikings. I have to admit, Mike Florio from Profootballtalk.com has been all over this, and I find myself agreeing with him more and more (I should probably get my head examined, but if you've read this blog for any length of time you'd already know that).

Aaron Rodgers Speaks!!!!

2008-07-15T21:42:00.001-04:00

From the guys at 103.7 KISS FM Milwaukee. Hilarious!

I'm gonna clear this up for you...

2008-07-15T19:38:00.002-04:00

Alright.. so this whole situation is getting messy. I don't know if "clusterfuck" is the appropriate word yet, but we're getting there. Anyway, Packers Nation... just take a deep breath and relax, because I'm going to preach on this Favre situation for a minute.

First of all, I'm not mad at Brett at all. Is he being stubborn? Of course he is.. but everything that's making him a pain in the ass retired player is the same set of qualities that made him a first ballot Hall of Famer. The guy's a competitor and when he's challenged (in this case by the Packers' essentially not wanting him back), his natural reaction is to push back. This is why even keeled guys like Thompson are GM's and Brett Favre isn't. When all is said and done, Brett's legacy will be untainted.

Brett will not play for the Packers this year. I don't care how many rallies are held (even though 200 people is a fairly pathetic attempt). Would I like to see him lace it up for the Pack this year? Hell yeah I would, but I'm willing to trust McCarthy and TT that Rodgers is ready to roll. Brett had one of his best years last year, in part because he actually attended many OTA's. I keep hearing the "Favre gives the Packers the best chance to win the Super Bowl" line. I don't know if I necessarily buy that. Maybe back in March you could have said that, but not at this point after the offensive installations. I fully expect Rodgers to be the best quarterback in the NFC North this year. MM and TT (alliteration with initials is fun!) know what they're doing. Period.

Thompson will get a 1st round pick for Favre or nothing. If this happens, and we don't have to play against #4, I declare this a victory for Ted.

To make a long (annoying story short), Brett will end his career with someone else, we'll get draft picks for essentially nothing, and Favre will still eventually enter the Hall of Fame in the Green and Gold. Thompson might just have to have extra security for a while..

I love you Brett...

2008-07-15T01:41:00.005-04:00

But Greta Van Susteren? I know she's from Appleton, but the chick's a friggin' Scientologist who works at Fox News. There are a whole lot of jokes there.... but anyway, here's the full interview (in 2 parts). Special thanks to Rowdy Yates for the links.

Everything seemingly is spinning out of control!

2008-07-11T20:26:00.003-04:00

I read this article last month, and had to laugh at the doom and gloom the writer was making out of the state of... well the whole fucking world.

Is everything spinning out of control? Midwestern levees are bursting. Polar bears are adrift. Gas prices are skyrocketing. Home values are abysmal. Air fares, college tuition and health care border on unaffordable. Wars without end rage in Iraq, Afghanistan and against terrorism.

I immediately thought of one one my favorite Youtube videos:

Is the fall of Western Civilization imminent? Will an asteroid PWN planet Earth? Is there an impending zombie apocalypse (I think this would be an extremely rad option, but unfortunately unlikely. By the way, according the Cracked.com, this is a possibility).

Now, with the news received today that Mohammed wants to get the hell out of Mecca, signs are apparently pointing to “Holy Shit, wipe sheep's blood over the front door of every house in Chico, CA to save Ted Thompson's first-born son, Aaron Rodgers.”

So while we must prepare for Lambeau Field to be destroyed by locusts and frogs raining down from the sky, I'm going to drink myself into oblivion with some buddies, and inevitably make some bad decisions that will make for a better story tomorrow. Then, I'm going to buy a #12 jersey. Cheers!

We interrupt this broadcast...

2008-07-02T18:34:00.002-04:00

While I'm spending the 4th of July week in Door County, WI, I didn't plan on posting anything, but this is a potential bombshell. Not sure what the ramifications of it would be as of yet, but apparently #4 is considering a comeback. Link: Favre has 'itch' to ditch retirement, report to camp